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The Art of Online Birthdays – alyssa calbert

For those of you who who are either Gen X-ers or older, birthdays are a big deal on social media. No, not just Facebook. We (people younger than you) stopped using Facebook because it became filled with old people (you) who only share videos of abused animals or the recipes for one-pot meals that consist of a mixture chicken, pasta and cheese. Besides, Facebook birthday wishes are overrated, unless you are wishing your mom a HBD; that is acceptable. We take your birthday shoutout much more seriously. I mean, what is more personal than a tweet from friend wishing you a happy womb eviction anniversary?

You may be wondering why this is the topic of choice for today’s blog. Today happens to be the day my dear friend Kelsey left the womb, and I was inspired.

Hey, I don’t know about you, but Kelsey is feeling 22!

Happy Birthday shoutouts are works of art. They have to well-timed. The photograph(s) selected need to either be purposefully embarrassing or where you and the birthday kid look fierce. There is no in between. If you consider yourself a pro, feel free to have a mixture of both image styles.

For example, my images tweeted along with my birthday post to Kels:

Screen Shot 2015-12-14 at 4.08.44 PM Screen Shot 2015-12-14 at 4.08.32 PM Screen Shot 2015-12-14 at 4.08.38 PM

Real adventurers will take their birthday shoutouts to Instagram. That is kind of a gray area. Posting a birthday shoutout on Twitter is normal. Match some cute pics with some cute emojis… Boom. Done. Instagram has to be top quality. These photographs are typically flawless, meaning no double chins or zits, with a caption that would make grandmother cry.

For people like me, I try not to bog down my Instagram feed with birthday wishes and focus more on the in-the-moment photographs. Tweets seem to do the job just fine, and all the embarrassing photographs will be buried deep into the holes of the internet much quicker.

But, real friend, like, really real friends take birthday shoutouts to the next level… and post them on their blog. I’m that friend.

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday to my sisters, my friend, my MC 12 babe, my Kelsey Arpin. Can’t wait to celebrate with you soon. ITB!

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